Adam tells us why brotherhood is so important in his life

I’ve haven’t known Adam that long (My fault really). Like most of my close brothers, we crossed paths because of the bagpipes. Adam has a way about him, a kind of immediate family effect. Talk to him and you find out quick, you need to be his friend.

Like many of us however, Adam was also suffering on the inside. His story I’m sure will strike a cord with many of you. Below are the words of my brother Adam Moore:

I come from a long family line of firefighter and paramedics. Growing up was hectic and difficult since my parents divorced when I was three and my mom kept us constantly moving around and made sure my relationship with my dad and his side of the family was very difficult and kept an alternate version of the truth from me. So growing up I slowly learned to simply rely on myself and keep things to myself. My family doesn’t express any sort of emotion or feeling so that reinforced everything. I slowly picked up the family business and progressed quickly and no matter the call, as gory or stressful it was I could ignore it bottle it up and throw it away. Through my career I always had the same mentality as everyone else and that was to suck it up and move on. I can’t say when it started or what call brought it on since I can remember so many. I entered a new relationship and my mentality changed and began to open up and try something new. In that time more stressful calls happened and other personal issues happened and I wasn’t able to keep the lid on and things got worse over time and one night everything imploded. I don’t have an addictive personality so I never turned to drugs or other substances to numb. There are better days then some but mostly they get worse. I’ve attempted  suicide a few times and each time it doesn’t work or I’ve stopped at the last minute. As a wise man once said I wish my mind could forget what my eyes have seen, the ones that haunt me like the children that will never get to see there first birthday or the screams of those I couldn’t save, I see and hear them sometimes more vivid than what I want. I have come to a crossroad of getting outside help or trying to fix it myself and have come to realize that even when I think I’m alone or nobody cares, there are those that do. While my help at home is limited I do get check ups from my brothers and sisters and it means a lot when they do more than they know. While my story is in no way a success story I can say that being surrounded by those that know how you feel and know what the power of family can do to a person can help someone and is not a sign of weakness as I always believed. 

As always brothers and sisters; Please, if you feel you don’t know where to turn, turn to a brother or sister. No one knows us like us. In the strength of sharing with someone what is making you hurt, you may just find that you’ve saved someone else. As always, if you’re willing… let’s take a walk.

Published by Brian

I am a Fireman, Paramedic, Bagpiper, Husband, and Father. I made this site in order to bring awareness to mental health disorders and addiction issues with first responders.

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